Home(work) for the Holidays

Family is something most people take for granted. We think, yeah, I have parents, maybe a brother or sister, grandparents, and bunches of cousins. And we neglect to appreciate them and spend time with them until it's almost impossible to do so. Thanksgiving Day will be here in about 45 minutes. We celebrate cause a couple hundred years ago, two groups of people came together and celebrated survival;; shouldn't we be doing the same thing?? Every day we wake up and we LIVE. We talk to people, we listen to music, we eat, we interact, we think (mostly about dumb things, but still.). Some people don't wake up at all. They don't get to tell their moms to let them sleep for five more minutes, they don't get to spin around or jump in big piles of leaves, and they don't get to hug their family and tell them they love them. To nearly everyone I know, Thanksgiving is synonomous with two things (maybe cause I'm from the South): food (and those of you who know, you KNOW.) and rest. Give us turkey with dressing and some pies... then let us nap and we're good to go. Oh, and then there's the dreaded Black Friday sales, where all the insane people (mostly women like the one from that crazy Target commercial) camp out in front of stores til three in the morning to buy Christmas presents. Then they go home and decorate for Christmas. If anything, Thanksgiving is the "middle holiday" between Halloween and Christmas. Kids are all whatever, cause what do they get out of Turkey Day but uncomfortable clothes, great-aunts pinching their cheeks, and uncle whats-his-face snoring so loud they can't hear the tv?
Well; I'm here to tell y'all to wake up and smell the pumpkin pie (my fave :D). Hug your grandparents, cause they won't be here forever. Get down on the floor and race cars with your little cousins, even if you think you're too old. Rock your baby cousin to sleep, even if there are a million other things you'd rather be doing. These moments only happen once. If you blink, you miss them and you can't get them back. (I know I sound like i'm preaching, but i'm as bad about this as everyone else) I've realized that Thanksgiving isn't long naps or casseroles or watching football or a parade or even turkey. Thanksgiving is family. And it's more than one day a year. Imagine (yeah, i just said that) that you wake up tomorrow and the world as you know it is gone. Over. Vanished, zip, zilch, nada. What would you wish you would've done or said? Who would you miss?
I'll leave you with this, children (haha. ha.)-- make a list. Take five minutes away from Angry Birds and write a list of what you're thankful for. I'm sure if you think hard enough, you can come up with oodles of things and people. Then (here's the clincher) let the people know. If you haven't seen them in a while, write them a letter. If you think they don't know that you love them, call em, text em, e-mail em, do something. Write on their Facebook wall for crying out loud. Even if you see them every day. Say, I love you and I'm glad you're in my life. And while you're at it, do something nice for them. Blah, blah, homework over the holidays... unlike x+zy3478 to the second power divided by carrots, you'll be glad you did this one day. Happy Thanksgiving y'all, I love you and I'm glad y'all are in my life.

3 Things No One Tells You About Revenge

1.      Revenge is addictive.

There’s a reason Americans can’t wean themselves off of fast food.  The sodium levels in food prepared at these restaurants are sky high—and our bodies crave it.  To soothe this craving, we go back again and again; if we don’t sustain the new level of sodium, we sink into depression.  The same happens with revenge.  The knowledge that we can hurt someone brings power, and that power is a high that’s hard to get rid of.  Soon, hurting others is a habit. 

2.      One act of revenge will follow you for the rest of your life.

Chain reaction, domino effect, each action equals an opposite reaction; whatever you call it, it happens.  A misdeed done out of rash anger could spiral out of control and affect hundreds of other people.  And if you have a conscience (some people obviously don’t) guilt will set in pretty quickly, and  soon it will be all you think about.  Then anxiety will set in… which could lead to depression… which could lead to a pill-filled life, or death, or any number of other things.  Catch my drift?

3.      When you bust a headlight with a baseball bat, that glass goes everywhere.  And I do mean EVERYWHERE.

Haha, I’m serious.  Do you know how hard it is to wash glass out of your hair? And it’s such a pain having to change your contacts every time a microscopic piece of glass gets in your eye.  Guess that’s the price I pay for “returning the favor”.  It’s like they say, everything has a price. Cheap is rare and free is nonexistent.

Well, to update y’all quickly, life’s pretty great… I’m going with my awesome aunt and the best twin ever to see the new vampire movie tonight; yay!  This next week, I plan to eat and sleep.  And then eat some more.  And then sleep some more.  So there.  Sorry it’s so short.. Love y’all.

Haha I have one more update; Erin is trying her best to teach me how to play the piano and guitar.  I’ll have to post some of our crazy shenanigans later. J xox

Expectations=Ruin(+Hippopotamus)

Moral of today: expectations will RUIN you. Either way, you can't win. No one can read your mind, so unless you're one of those obnoxious people that tells everyone what they expect, you won't get it. And I'm not obnoxious... (well, maybe when it comes to baked goods and people that are hard of hearing) This past week's been alright. Saturday (minus the hairspray fumes and glitter) was pretty shocking. Sunday was sort of depressing. Monday, school was a drag, but then I got to hang with my bestest friend (Icees and Sonic!)... Here are some (amusing, if slightly confusing) quotes from my stay with her: "You IDGIT, go faster!-- I can't, this IDGIT in front of me won't move out of the way!" "Hippopotamus!" "Stop molesting my vehicle!" "You can't sing in Wal-Mart.-- Why not? Everyone else here is crazy!" "Why is she saying she wants to change his last name? She's a girl. O.o" Yeahhh, we're crazy, but you love us anyway. :D Yesterday was fun, went to church and Taco Bell with Ben. Ha I hope my family didn't scar him for life. Just kidding, my mom's so excited that he gets sarcasm she probably wouldn't care if he had a mugshot ;D. Apparently several people were creeping us, cause I got like eight text messages saying (word for word) "Hey girrrlllll, see you eatin at taco bellzzz... Haha have fun wit yo boyy...*insert emoticon here*" And people wonder why America's grammar suffers. -__-
Sigh. I wish it was Friday already... After the football game, I'm going home and sleeping for a week. So there! Wait... Dangit. I'm talking to the ever-elusive and mysterious 'they' again. Hmm... What to say, what to say? Uh, my writing for MSA is coming good(but then, I write all the time so how could it not be haha?). I guess I'll leave off with the nugget of wisdom that nothing's ever as it seems. Oh and; my sarcasm has, shall we say, flown the coop, so I'm in need of some happiness. Any takers? Love y'all.

Pirates, Subs, and Storms, Oh My!

Can I write a semi-amusing blog in under fifteen minutes? Challenge Accepted! Haha, so I'm in accounting, and we have this sub. And she thinks she knows everything as she shakes her poorly dyed hair and smoothes down her purple Snoopy (as in Charlie Brown) T-shirt.  She has yelled at every student in the hour she's been in here. She doesn't listen to a one of us, and every once in a while, she'll drift off into some story from her childhood, or tell us how she throws shoes at her children. The standard for people who are accepted as teachers astounds me. For real, I honestly don't know how this woman managed to pass high school, much less get a degree to be a substitute teacher... But, what do I know? (According to this substitute, not much.)
So, I'm watching the Pirates of the Caribbean movies for the first time this week (courtesy of my friend with many names), and they're pretty amazing.  Orlando Bloom almost made me forget about Channing Tatum :) Almost. Haha and I discovered that I want to be a pirate! Realistically, it's not a good plan, but in my head.... I think I'd be a good pirate. Hmmm. I guess the world will never know. And that's probably a good thing.
I was watching Glee the other day, and they were talking about how some people are unicorns-people that do such wonderful things that they turn from metaphorical "horses" to metaphorical "unicorns." Therefore, my thought of the day is, "Am I a horse or a unicorn?" No lie. I was also thinking about something else today while it was storming. (I love storms!) Isn't it funny how no matter how much you want to, you can't fall for someone? Even if they're perfect, or just nice, or just... right. If  you don't feel anything for them, what does it matter? You're always stuck with the people that are into other people. Like my dear friend Will said two seconds ago, "You just can't win." (He was talking about solitaire and doesn't know I stole his quote, but hey, if the shoe fits...)  Anyway, I was just musing about how love often goes a full circle with no one being happy. Unless you're one of those lucky people who has actually found someone that fell for you too.. To me, that's the best kind of magic. Love y'all.

Dancing with the Stars, Bullets, and Fast Cars

Since elephants seem to be one of the main topics of discussion on this blog, I thought I should let y'all know that I'm reading this book (shock and amazement!) Water for Elephants.  Surprisingly, it's really cool.  Since it's Thursday (shudder... hillbilly day), I also thought I should tell everyone that I was right about the straw and boots and buck teeth.  But I forgot about the overalls! How could I?  I was talking to some of my friends in English today, and we've all decided that buttoned-up plaid shirts are a new, excellent form of birth control. Hehehe... My mom got her iPad in yesterday, and I was showing her some YouTube videos. She particularly likes the ones with the cats acting out a drama. Surprise, surprise!  We sort of ran down the battery watching covers of famous songs (I Will Survive and Jump, anyone?) and Charlie the unicorn videos.  Speaking of dear mum, we had a conversation the other day about dating guys with mugshots... Hmmm.  Ha I told her it's a good thing I blaze my own trail instead of following by example, or she might have a delinquent for a son-in-law. :)  ( She'll probably kill me for putting that on here. O.o) Hahaha.  I was at a gas station a few weeks ago, and they were selling stickers with "Things You Shouldn't Say to the Cops" on them:

Police Officer: Your eyes are bloodshot, have you been drinking?
Drunk Guy: Your eyes are glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?

Sounds like something people I know would say... Wink. So. Most of you (the ones that don't have lives), know that Dancing With the Stars came on this week.  I would just like to point out that they are really (really, really) widening their range.  But it's okay because I get to watch the Russian brothers dance.  And whoa... Can they dance.  Plus, Carson Kressley ("I'm so clumsy, I put the C in caucasian!") is hilarious. He can't dance worth a flip-flying-fladoodle, but he's talented at something.  Some of you lovely readers (all two of you) are probably wondering about the title of this blog.  I'll just tell you right now, it's a lyric from a Lil Wayne song that suited my post.  If you haven't heard his music and you're under 25, go listen.  If you haven't heard him and you're older than that... You probably don't want to. 

It's a good thing I'm not learning to drive from my mom. (She's gonna kill me anyway, figure I might as well go the whole nine yards here.) Here's a little of what happens when we're on the road:

Mom: "Hey can you text so-and-so for me?"
Me: "What do I s--"
Mom: *grabs the phone and huffs* "Never mind, I'll get it."

Me: "Uh, Mom, you're going like twenty miles over the speed limit."
Mom: "Sh! I'm winning at Words with Friends!"/ "I'm almost done with this book!"/ "Can't you see that I'm on the phone?"                        
                 
Oh dear. Haha. One last thing, and I'll go. We got rolled last night by some pansies (cough cough Kevin) who wouldn't even come up close to the house.  Oh well, some things you just have to do yourselves. I shall have revenge... *insert evil face here* Mwhahaha. (That was my evil laugh.) Ha. Love y'all.

Reporting from the Wasteland of Punishment... And Then Some

Well, folks, here it is.  Day three of my survival in the wasteland that is punishment.  Other than being low on patience and sustenance, all is well—with the world, if not with me.  This week is homecoming, and today is Monday, where a few brave souls ventured out dressed like senior citizens.  This year, tomorrow in fact, we have Fake an Injury Day (what were they thinking?).  Chaos will reign with flying crutches, kids walking into walls because of eye patches, and teachers yelling at petulant students that are saying desperately, “But Mrs. So-and-So, I REALLY broke my hand!!”  Yeah, right.  You just keep telling yourself that, buddy.  Then there’s Neon Day, where we all go on a mission to blind those around us with our dazzling array of extremely bright colors! Yay, school spirit. Thursday is… wait for it… Hillbilly Day.  (Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?)  So kids will come to school in boots and shorts with straw hanging out of their mouths and fake buck teeth in (and don’t ask me how, but I know those suckers can do some damage).  Friday, of course is where we come to school painted like Smurfs to show our school spirit once and for all.  Football players will roam the halls, randomly yelling about how bad we’re gonna kick Amite County’s butt, and cheerleaders will bounce around screaming, “Go Jaguars!”  All this week, in the dark of night, teenagers will sneak out with toilet paper and eggs and spray paint and decorate the houses of enemies and friends and teachers.  Seeing as we dominated in our last game (49-0), I’m pretty sure our boys will bring it Friday.  A win would be nice. J

Have you ever looked around you and thought, what am I doing here?  Why am I friends with these people, and why was I born into my family?  Heh, you’re not the only one.  If I can’t answer these questions, I can at least tell you that you’re not alone.  Sometimes I would give a million dollars to be out of here.  And sometimes I can’t imagine leaving.  But either way it goes, God’s with me.  So I’ll just let the chips fall where they may. Love y’all.

Hey, me again!  Same blog, different date, I know… I’ve just been having some problems with Internet access.  -_-  Ha, everything’s okay on the parental front now.  Yay, J Tuesday was everything I thought it’d be, except for some really realistic fake stitches… Some people go all out for homecoming!  I was just gonna let y’all know that I joined the realm of the school-spirited and wore a neon shirt today. Isn’t that peachy? (Sarcasm fairy’s in full force today!)  I was also gonna mention that some people get in and out of relationships really fast and I’m sort of getting whiplash from some of the couples I know.  Hint hint. Haha. Love y’all!

G-R-O-U-N-D-E-D.

Grounded, verb. Definition: imprisoned in one’s own home with no way of communication to the outside world; sentence for wrongdoing.   Used in a sentence: Madison behaved like a horrible, snippety teenager and henceforth, she was grounded…  I do believe I’m going to publish my own dictionary.  I’ll give old Webster a run for his money.  And then when I’ve sold a million kajillion copies, I’ll be a billionaire and travel the world and buy things for no reason at all.  Just kidding.  If I were a billionaire, I’d feed the hungry, donate to bunches of charities, build homes for homeless people…. And then I’d be right back where I started.  Broke.  It always seems like your heart’s bigger than your wallet, amiright?  I suppose I deserve to be grounded… I haven’t been a very nice person lately.  (And hey, if I were my mom, I wouldn’t put up with me either.)  Haha I probably need to be on lockdown until I’m forty.  I know if my kids are half as crazy as me, that’s where they’ll be!  On a lighter note, I’m sure EVERYONE is aware that the tigers devoured the bulldogs… and now it’s over.  So STOP GRIPING AND BRAGGING.  It’s annoying.  There will be other football games.  A lot of other football games!  Don’t get your knickers in a twist.  (Between you and me, that always sounded really unpleasant… -_-)  Right now, I’m in accounting. (Stop! I know what you’re thinking!)  *insert defensive voice here* I get my work done fast!  Haha.  Remember when we talked about forgetting?  Apparently you CAN contract selective amnesia.  I think I’m doing a pretty dang good job, considering the circumstances.  You know, it’s always harder to forget than forgive.   Give me five minutes and I’m all, “You’re forgiven, blah blah blah…”  But like they (quick question: who is this ever-elusive “they”?)  say, trust is like a piece of paper.  Once you crumple that piece of paper up, it’ll never be perfect again.  Some of my friends don’t even care.  Ha they burned that piece of paper a long time ago. After shredding it and feeding it to a goat.  (Goats eat paper, right?)  But, I digress.  Moral of the story: There’s a fine line between turning the other cheek so much you get whiplash, and being a forgiving person…. Mother always said I liked to dance on lines.  Bad girl signing off.   Love y’all.