I don't cry much... I think there are much more beneficial ways to release the negative emotions. But tonight, I'm crying. I always knew that the people who hate you do their best to hurt you, but I never would've figured that the people who say they love you would go out of their way to stab you in the heart. It's not even the big things that hurt anymore. I can get over those pretty quickly.... It's the little things: the flash-flood insults that are supposed to be funny, the indecison that I guess is supposed to appear aloof and mysterious. And even those don't hurt as much as someone telling me they love me when I know that they don't and they can't. There's no way someone could love you and be able to cause you so much pain and not care or know, is there?
I also don't bother other people much with my problems (except y'all, now, cause i'm tired and hurt and i just want to talk about it. sue me.). I used to know where I stood with everyone. I had best best friends, best friends, friends, fake friends, and people I knew. Now, I don't know who I can tell what. Sometimes, I don't even want to tell anyone, because once people know that something can hurt you, they either pity you, use it against you, or don't care. And you know something else that bothers me?
No one keeps secrets anymore. I swear, none of you could be criminals. It doesn't matter how big or small it is, you have to tell one person. And I promise that one person will tell another person. It's a vicious, neverending cycle.
Oh, and one more thing. If you're one of those people who take important things, or moments, or words that have been said and you treasure them in your heart, keep them to yourself. Chances are, the one person you want to remember them too, doesn't. I was going to apologize for being such a downer in this blog, but I changed my mind, because I decided i'm not ashamed of this. Any of it. Love y'all. Even if you don't love me.
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