Bad Things Happen in Threes

      Seems like I'm posting once a month ha.  Maybe y'all can only handle this huge dose of humor every so often. Joking, I promise. The more probable reason I'm just now posting is because it takes an army and a lot of food to drag my brother away from Minecraft.  Well, now that all the mental festivities are over *tear*, we can turn our minds to a very real celebration... my birthday!! Yay.  I'll be sixteen (feel free to throw rapid-fire cliches at me now)... the sweet part is still under construction.  People keep asking me what I want for my birthday... and then they don't believe me when I say a baby zebra.  What's so wrong with that?? They're adorable and semi-violent, like me. :) Kidding (about the adorable part).  Anyway, my parents almost had myocardial infarctions (thank you, A&P :D) when I told them I didn't want to have a party (truth is, there aren't that many people I can stand anymore, and if we brought together a large number of people, I might end up smacking someone). 
     Speaking of smacking people, have you ever been listening to someone talk (usually about themselves) and you realize you're just watching stupid bubble over and fall out of their mouths?  So disgusting.  I'm a firm believer that if you can't hold a decent conversation, you should stare off in the distance broodingly so at least you LOOK relatively intelligent.  I had a whole other spiel about stupid people and the crap they talk, but then someone who reads this would talk about it and even more crap would get started, so let's just say I legit dislike stupidity.  You know what else is stupid? Ignorance.  Before you call people names, you should probably look up their definitions, so you don't look like an idiot.  I realized today that a lot of people are ignorant about tattoos (random subject change, hello.).  All those superficial egotistical stupidheads (leave me alone, this blog is rated PG) look at someone with tattoos and they immediately think trashy.  I think tattoos are a form of self-expression and if you can't handle that, you need to retrospect before you judge other people on their creativity.  And don't tell other's what to do with their bodies; just because you're narrow-minded and old-fashioned doesn't mean everyone else has to be. 
     *deep breath* whoo. Rant over. Maybe (not quite).  Each person thinks that they are the be all, end all, best person ever, yadayada blah blah.  If you look at someone and think, oh they shouldn't do that, they should be more like me, then you need to undergo a reality check.  Because you probably do things that they think are dumb.  Everyone has an opinion and a viewpoint and all that jazz, but you don't force how you think or feel on someone else.... that's like mental/emotional identity rape.  And I just KNOW some of you are thinking I'm talking about Jesus. Think what you want, it's your brain. But I do have one thing to say concerning some people's idea of evangelism, and it's exactly what my preacher said this morning: before you talk about Jesus, act like Jesus.  Several people I know could use a strong shot of come-to-Jesus. 
   But anyway.  Bad week, great weekend.  In other random news, I went to see the Hunger Games movie for the third time yesterday with two of my true friends... Yay for true friends. :) My nails are painted for the first time in forever and I keep getting distracted by the sparkly thingies.  I got a hula hoop for my birthday!!! I love hula hooping.  People will believe anything they hear.  Taco Bell at eleven on a Friday night is weird.  Never get in a car with my friends if you have to pee.  I am not that bad (truly, I suck) at Super Smash Bros. Every time I wear shorts now, I laugh a little inside.  I'm on a music high.  My friends are dropping like flies y'all... watch out ;).  I'm helping my Sunday school teacher find a bathing suit for her mission trip to Ecuador.  Soap operas are stupid.  I have a bruise on my head from where my friend (the one you shouldn't get in a car with if you have to pee) hit me on the head with a flashlight after blinding me. I have been in three strangers' bathrooms this weekend.  Well, that's about all the random I can handle.  Love y'all.  And remember, if something's not related to elephants, it's irrelephant. :D

It's A Mental Party and You're All Invited

Before all of you start charging me with torches and pitchforks, yes, I have been avoiding blogging lately.  I always share too much of myself, and as much of this blog is left up to interpretation, all of y'all form opinions without knowing full stories and whatnot.   Anyway, I'm back for now, so I might as well resume the entertainment, right?  I realized today that it's Spring Break, and you all know what that means... Pictures of girls in bikinis on Facebook!  This is probably my least favorite time of year to be on a social networking site.  Bathroom shots, flipping on the beach.... But my favorite would have to be the "Hey, I'm trying this on in the store. I think it's cute, but what do you guys think?!?" picture.  Never fails.  The other depressing thing about Facebook during Spring Break is all these people talking about going places.  You know where I am?  At home, in my recliner, where I'll probably be all week.  Haha but it's okay, because most of the time I'll be asleep.
Y'all wanna know something else I realized today?  With some people, you just can't win.  You try so hard to get them to see how you feel, and they just... don't.  So I'm throwing a mental "I Give Up" party.  You're all invited.  There will be an extremely fattening cake, some presents that will ultimately be disappointing, and purple streamers.  And a pinata.  Filled with caramel.  (Please excuse the oddity; I happen to love caramel. And purple.) And after this mental party, my mind will probably wander off to some middle eastern country with camels (they're so cool!). 
I've been sort of cry-y lately (new word alert O.o).  For example, I read two books in the last two days, and they both made me sob.  And the other day, I stubbed my toe.  And cried.  Is that healthy?  Maybe it's just too much pent-up emotion.  Oh, hey, by the way, the elephant's dead.  I had a mental funeral last week (I do believe there are too many mental occasions going on in my life).  The poachers made tacky jewelry out of his tusks and love to flaunt it in my face (see if you can unwind that metaphor, suckers. i do so love metaphors).  But it's okay.  Like my English teacher told me, "We cry and then we cope."  Indeed. Sorry this post was so loony.  I'm a little on the delirious side.  I want my elephant back.  :(  Love y'all.

http://youtu.be/XlpeDpAmkQM

P.S. I love this kid.  And I will marry him.

What I Wish You Knew

My love is scattered coals
They fall upon my soul
Flames lick through my hair
And shimmer in the air.
Poison races through my veins
Unrequited love, the greatest pain
When only darkness remains,
That's when I know I'm safe.

I'm a puppet in your hands,
Dancing on the strings, woven from your plans.
My smile is painted on
All my expressions have been drawn
You pull my legs out from under me
And hover just beyond my reach...
I'm a puppet in your hands,
A glutton for your sins,
Glass after lightning strikes the sand.

Your right hand moves
And mine flies up to the roof
Bursting through the bricks to the sky
Balancing on a heartfelt lie.
Your breath comes hard and fast
Winning the invisible race
And in the vortex of the air you make
My body twists and shakes.

I'm a puppet in your hands,
Dancing on the strings, woven from your plans.
My smile is painted on
All my expressions have been drawn
You pull my legs out from under me
And hover just beyond my reach...
I'm a puppet in your hands,
A glutton for your sins,
Glass after lightning strikes the sand.

Your distraction is my worst enemy
When you see her, you drop me on my feet
But I can't stand on my own,
The fragile joints you have blown
Crack and I fall onto the floor
Watching you holding her and walking out the door.

I'm a puppet in your hands,
Severed from the strings you wove with your plans.
Tearstains streak the paint,
Lines blur and grow faint
I shatter
And shards come down like rain...
I was a puppet in your hands,
But your plans fell through
And I fell too.

I Found the Elephant... He's Wearing a Noose

Big decisions take guts- we all know that.  But we also know that too many big, life-changing decisions are being made without a second thought.  We give pieces of ourselves away so quick that soon we're left with nothing and no way to recognize who we've become.  Every time I post, I DO have a main point (though it's usually camouflaged and dripping with sarcasm), contrary to popular belief.  This week (or last week, depending on how your mental calendar works), I made a pretty big decision.  Whole nine yards, y'all: weighing pros and cons, mentally walking through my future (it's as creepy as it sounds), spinning the emotional wheel of fortune... and it all came down to this.  No decision is easy, but we have to move forward or we risk getting stuck where we are. 
At least, that's what I told myself when I decided to graduate a year early.  You wouldn't believe the load of crap I've gotten for it.  I swear, people have come up to me and questioned my motives out loud (like, yeah, i'm graduating a year early just for YOU. cause you're so awesomely amazing and wonderful that you dominate my thought processes and all my future plans. you don't. i promise.). Other people think I just want to get away from home... and still others think i'm being a pompous braggart who's exclaiming to the world how smart she is.  The minority thinks I've gone temporarily insane.  Wouldn't it amaze them all just know how WRONG they are?  This whole entire fiasco just goes to show that no one thinks of anyone but themselves.
Surely, no one could possibly want to graduate early for the positive ramifications it could have on their educational future.  Obviously, no one wants to move on with their life.  Of course, no one thinks of the future that holds the best thing for them.  It seems I can't make a decision about my life for myself.  It's got to be analyzed, pored over, discussed in large time increments, and made so absolutely horrid that I no longer want anything to do with the idea.  No matter how much time I put into making it rock-solid, a real concrete step on the pathway of life, it's not good enough. 
Well, I could ramble on about that jolly subject forever, so I'll just add a quick note before I let you go...  If you have a problem with me, please, with a cherry on top, tell me.  Either I'll fix it or forget it and leave you to nurse it.... Thanks. Love y'all.

It's A Morbid, Melancholy Midnight

I don't cry much... I think there are much more beneficial ways to release the negative emotions.  But tonight, I'm crying.  I always knew that the people who hate you do their best to hurt you, but I never would've figured that the people who say they love you would go out of their way to stab you in the heart. It's not even the big things that hurt anymore.  I can get over those pretty quickly.... It's the little things: the flash-flood insults that are supposed to be funny, the indecison that I guess is supposed to appear aloof and mysterious.  And even those don't hurt as much as someone telling me they love me when I know that they don't and they can't.  There's no way someone could love you and be able to cause you so much pain and not care or know, is there?
I also don't bother other people much with my problems (except y'all, now, cause i'm tired and hurt and i just want to talk about it. sue me.).  I used to know where I stood with everyone.  I had best best friends, best friends, friends, fake friends, and people I knew.  Now, I don't know who I can tell what.  Sometimes, I don't even want to tell anyone, because once people know that something can hurt you, they either pity you, use it against you, or don't care.  And you know something else that bothers me?
No one keeps secrets anymore.  I swear, none of you could be criminals.  It doesn't matter how big or small it is, you have to tell one person.  And I promise that one person will tell another person.  It's a vicious, neverending cycle. 
Oh, and one more thing.  If you're one of those people who take important things, or moments, or words that have been said and you treasure them in your heart, keep them to yourself.  Chances are, the one person you want to remember them too, doesn't.  I was going to apologize for being such a downer in this blog, but I changed my mind, because I decided i'm not ashamed of this.  Any of it.  Love y'all.  Even if you don't love me.

Stop and Smell the John Lennon

You would think the last day of school would be amazingly, wonderfully perfect, would you not?  Presents, getting rid of books, that relief of leaving a classroom and knowing that you don't have to go back; all are good things.  But have you ever realized that one bad thing can negate hundreds of good things?  As humans, we are programmed to think pessimistically and we are eternal problem solvers.  So instead of stopping to smell the polluted air and dead flowers, we focus all our power on the bad things going on and how to fix them.  That is one of my hugest pet peeves.  People are all, "How do I FIX this?"  Sometimes you don't need to FIX it.  Sometimes you need to let it be.  (John Lennon said that as well, so I'm rolling with it.  He was a cool dude.) 
There's something I've been meaning to say for a long time and I keep forgetting (stay with me.... I'm stressed).  Do any of y'all have any idea how much your words and actions affect other people?  I know all of humanity is busy admiring itself in a metaphorical mirror and whatnot, but have you ever just stopped and thought about what your prescence means?  I'm human, so I know that we are a self-absorbed bunch of people.  Even if we don't think much of ourselves, we still think of ourselves first and foremost.  (cause it's all about you. )  That one insult you throw out without even thinking can literally poison someone for the rest of their day, and maybe their week.  Remember how I said people focus on the bad things?  As a girl, I can safely say that we remember insults far longer than we remember compliments.  And it kind of sucks.  Moral of the extremely short story... Smile at someone and make their day.  Hurt them, and wound them for an unspecified but long amount of time.  Just be nice, people! This is what I ask.
I'm also gonna ask for one more thing; prepare your brains.  All of what I'm about to say can be summed up in one word: CARE. For Pete's (never did figure out who he is, btw) sake, if someone cares about you, the abso-freaking-lute least thing you can do is care back.  You don't have to love them.  That's not what I'm saying.  But if you could manage to muster one iota of give a rat's rear (don't know where I got that... but I vaguely remember it from my childhood O.o), it would make that person so happy.  I promise.  You know how I know?  Because I AM that person.  We're all that person.  Each and every one of us cares about someone that doesn't care.  (I'm not talking just guy-girl relationships either.... i'm talking friends, parents, other family...) So.  You have homework until next time. (Next time I might ask y'all to hit someone.) Haha. :)
Be nice.  Concentrate on the good.  And care.  Love y'all.

Just Call Me Dr. Philoprah.

Well. Let me just start off by saying this... if Texas were a person, I would punch him/her.  It would probably be a girl.  Cause Texas is just sooooooo great like that. Anyway; venting sesh over and whatnot.
Today was pretty great. Even though I almost froze to death in my dress (who knew Mississippi Decembers were cold?), I spent my afternoon with two of the best girls ever!  Our mall is entertaining on any normal day (pajamas and kids on drugs, anyone?), but today was extra special... must've been the added hilarity.  I managed to get almost all my Christmas presents (sustaining only minor injuries from fights with other shoppers) as well as a Captain Jack Sparrow t-shirt.  <---- I consider that to be an amazing feat.  Then home to change and hide all my awesome presents (people in this house are sneaky squared, y'all.).  At Holly's house, about eighteen hysterical inside jokes were made in the space of ten minutes.  (it's cause we rock \m/(-_-)\m/ ) Among corny one liners about firemen and confusion about a pink hole puncher, there were also doubts about the... idea to give a mountain dew to someone's boyfriend (if you don't know, google it.).  Then there were some songs about birds, and people were walking into doors all over the place.  It all ended with a violent fight because one of said two girls stole my phone (SN: you don't take a girl's phone. ever.).  And then we were all laughing like mentally challenged seals.... i know right? you wish you'd been there. :)
After some frappes and a new hat (new for me anyway), it was time for church.  Tonight was our Christmas program, and let me just say: some of these people have major pipes.  I'm serious. This one girl is eight, and she sang happy birthday to Jesus and it was pretty amazing.  Y'all ever listen to a song and get chill bumps?  Happens to me ALL the time.  No joke.  You could probably sing the State Farm jingle to me and I'd break out in them.... sigh.  Well, all good things come to an end.  Which brings me to my last paragraph.
Everyday people just don't get feelings.  Especially teenagers.  I can see both sides of the whole "it's only been three days and i swear i love him thing".  But truthfully, something that comes about in three days and starts with L? Not love, I promise.  And if you've only been seeing someone for a few months, don't start planning your wedding and naming your children.  Because sometimes, THINGS HAPPEN.  People wake up and don't have the same feelings.  It happens.  I can't explain it, but it does.  And when it happens to you or someone you have feelings for, it hurts.  I get that; I know.  But that hurt is the bridge to something better. (Geeze, I sound like Oprah and Dr. Phil's love child.)  Sadly enough, it's true.  If it didn't work out, it's probably not meant to be.  Especially if you're fourteen. Which is partly why I think it's so sad that everyone's in a hurry to grow up.  You act like a grown up when you're a child, and grown up things happen to you.  That's life.  Sorry to preach, haha.  Love y'all.